ABC's of Modesty

I thought about how much modesty is a composite of so many things--mindsets, but also physical carriage and what-not. So I challenged myself to come up with an alphabet of all the characteristics of the trait we call MODESTY. It's not easy. Especially with Q, X, and Z.

Modesty is All About others
Modesty is Becoming to a young lady, also it's Beautiful, as opposed to "hot"
Modesty is Clothing yourself--and by clothing, I mean Covering
Modesty is Different from what Taylor Swift and Disney Pop Stars suggest for us (sorry, Swizzie)
Modesty is Exemplified in Scripture
Modesty is Failure to comply with cultural norms
Modesty is Gracious and God-Honoring
Modesty is Helpful for godly young men
Modesty is Important--it always tells people about you
Modesty is Judging an outfit--how would you feel if a girl wearing it had a crush on your brother?
Modesty is Keeping yourself and your actions under control
Modesty is Loving the people around you
Modesty is Mentally saying "I can be pretty, but not PUSHY or FLIRTY!"
Modesty is Not simply how we dress
Modesty is Often WAY harder than people think:)
Modesty is Pushing the norms
Modesty is Queen-worthy--remember, you are the daughter of a King! Dress and deport yourself thusly
(I JUST USED THUSLY:)
Modesty is Remembering what Really matters
Modesty is Smiling, but not flirting... Modesty is Self-less
Modesty is Taking the time to fight the whole shopping disaster called Juniors Sizes
Modesty is Underrated
Modesty is for Very wise girls, ones who see God as their judge, not Harry Styles or Channing Tatum
Modesty is What makes a christian girl outwardly different
Modesty is X-TRAORDINARY in Upstate NY
Modesty is Your big message to passing strangers
Modesty is Zany to many, but still not completely dead, right?


There is so much more to modesty, otherwise, this blog wouldn't exist. However, it can be very helpful to try this exercise for yourself. Go through the alphabet and write out whatever it is you struggle with most when it comes to modesty and visually living out your faith. Give it a shot, and remember--it's not about us. It's about our heavenly father, who doesn't care if we happen to be in Salvation Army finds. It's also about the people around us. So dress up, look your best, and let us know how you did it on the Shopping Tips page!

Modesty is a Team Sport

"Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people."  Proverbs 14:34

What we do isn't about us, rather,  it's about Christ. With that in mind, our attire shouldn't ever have a need to go beyond what is 'modest'. While it's nice to be 'fashionable', it can't be our foremost motive when shopping or dressing--we must be motivated by Christ.  When we think of ourselves as ambassadors,  representatives of Christ in the world, then we can put aside our desires for 'attention' and see ourselves as his emissaries.  Modesty is just another way we live our lives as believers. When we can think of our clothes as a message we send, the representatives of Christ should have no problems or scruples with rejecting the world's message and bearing one of hope and redemption.   

Choosing the Hard Route: Modesty:)

Sometimes, modesty means you don’t fit in. Often, modesty means you don’t fit in.

It always means that we are different from 'the world'. I think sometimes it’s helpful to look at modesty not as ‘helping the guys because they are human and need it’, which I find often makes me proud, but rather, simply as choosing the hard route. The Bible says that because of our faith, we will be different, and physical differences are a part of that. It seems that being modest is, in large part, realizing that the easy way is not always the best.It's hard to find clothes that are pretty and flattering but not falling off or missing valuable pieces in critical locations, if you read me.  It’s easy to make ‘friends’ if you wear what they’re wearing. It’s harder, however, to make good, strong, healthy relationships when you are only friends with people because you shop at the same stores. If you make an obvious move to ‘be difficult’ when it comes to clothes, people often admire the spunk such a move takes. And the people who will notice that about you are often the ones who make the best friends. Don’t be afraid to take the ‘modesty chance’ !

Mutual Upbuilding

        One of my favorite passages to look to when it comes to social proprieties is Romans 14. Paul’s comments are extraordinarily helpful for me as I wrestle with the concept of modesty.

"Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.[…] For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil.  For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and mutual upbuilding. Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God.[…]For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”                                                                           Romans 14:13-23 ESV

In the long run, it’s not about how hip or cute we look. It’s not about how other people think of us, and Paul’s words even defy that classic cultural claim “ if you look enough like everyone else, everyone will love you”--especially when he says “Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men”. Instead, the christian lady is one who says “I’ll forego my preferred dress for this event because I know that it will not lead to ‘mutual upbuilding’." Like I said yesterday, it’s tricky to be modest, especially if you happen to be looking for rules. But here, Paul presents us with a bunch of very applicable ‘guidelines’. 

As a side note, pursuing mutual upbuilding in how we dress doesn’t mean sack-cloth and ashes--unless you happen to be a citizen of Ninevah during the era of Jonah. I can’t begin to describe how many times seeing a friend of mine looking pretty and happy has brought me joy. Being girls, that  desire for beauty shouldn’t come as a surprise. But keeping the thought of mutual upbuilding in mind each morning may just be a strong step on the road toward ladylike christianity.

The Modesty Survey has been really interesting to look at. While it may provide some incomplete or vague suggestions, it also is very eye opening and helpful.
Click Here to View the Rebelution's Modesty Survey

Welcome to The Modesty Proposal

        There are two main parts to being a modest lady. The first of these is physically what we wear, and the second is attitude. When I think about WHY I’m doing something, I can often find out whether its worth doing. Am I wearing this because if I don’t wear it, no one will notice me or talk to me? Or am I wearing it because it happens to be my grandmother’s and she asked me to, even though it is a little flashy? Is the way I walk, talk, dress, or look at someone else’s walk, talk, and dress driven by my selfish purposes or Christ-like selfless purposes?

Unfortunately, there is no easy measuring stick for motivations. We like to justify whatever we do in our head so that we can continue living the way we want to. And it doesn’t take much. Adam and Eve were tempted by fruit. We can totally be tempted by a cute dress that shows way too much, but makes us look just like everybody else. Why are we this way? It’s really all Eve’s fault:), and we can safely say that Eve fell prey to a wily salesman. 

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.

       He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 

               And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God 

               said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you

               touch it, lest you die.’”But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God 

               knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good 

              and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, 

              and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some 

              to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew

              that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. --Genesis 3:1-7 ESV

When Satan approached Eve, he didn’t mince matters. He flat out lied about God and what God wanted. Which is just what our culture does to us. It says “ There's no good reason for you to not wear this particular dress...and in fact, if you wear it, you’ll be widely accepted for it-- because it's eye-catching, and makes you look dangerous and desired”.  The similarities between Satan’s message and the common message of our era are shocking and sobering--ones that should warn us of the need to pursue godly modesty and ladylike deportment.  

      The purpose of this blog is two-fold. One, I think better out loud, and writing is a form of thinking out loud. Two, the pursuit of modesty comes from teamwork--one girl trying to be modest on her own is like an ant trying to build an ant hill by himself.  Christian girls need to rally to support each other, and I set this up to help with that. Feel free to comment anything, from practical shopping tips to insightful scripture or poetry. Thanks for considering the modesty proposal!