Mutual Upbuilding

        One of my favorite passages to look to when it comes to social proprieties is Romans 14. Paul’s comments are extraordinarily helpful for me as I wrestle with the concept of modesty.

"Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.[…] For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil.  For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and mutual upbuilding. Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God.[…]For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”                                                                           Romans 14:13-23 ESV

In the long run, it’s not about how hip or cute we look. It’s not about how other people think of us, and Paul’s words even defy that classic cultural claim “ if you look enough like everyone else, everyone will love you”--especially when he says “Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men”. Instead, the christian lady is one who says “I’ll forego my preferred dress for this event because I know that it will not lead to ‘mutual upbuilding’." Like I said yesterday, it’s tricky to be modest, especially if you happen to be looking for rules. But here, Paul presents us with a bunch of very applicable ‘guidelines’. 

As a side note, pursuing mutual upbuilding in how we dress doesn’t mean sack-cloth and ashes--unless you happen to be a citizen of Ninevah during the era of Jonah. I can’t begin to describe how many times seeing a friend of mine looking pretty and happy has brought me joy. Being girls, that  desire for beauty shouldn’t come as a surprise. But keeping the thought of mutual upbuilding in mind each morning may just be a strong step on the road toward ladylike christianity.